My pen name, Yinkibar, is inspired by a nickname I once had. See, one of my old friends called me Yinkibar, because it sounds like Yankee bar – a Danish chocolate bar. Yes, I have quite a sweet tooth and chocolate is my favorite all time snack, sweet, dessert, call it what you want. Now, even chocolate has many names, doesn’t this make you wonder, how this one little thing can have so many names and, forget not, forms. Like chocolate, I also have many names and forms – as in energy and not my physique. In relations to other people I take several roles – daughter, friend, leader, follower, idealist, pragmatist, you name it – and no, I don’t have a personality split. I simply navigate through different roles, when it is fitting to the context. Not to mention that these roles or names only describes a part of me and not defines my core.
so what is my core? who am i?
Let me start with the beginning. I was born in Hainan, China and then my parents divorced which led to my biological mother’s migration to Denmark. She left with only my brother, then two years later she came back to Hainan to bring me with her. I have been living in Denmark ever since. From an age of twelve I had been living with a Danish foster family till I moved out on my own after graduating gymnasium (Danish high school.)
During my teen years with my foster family I have encountered culture clashes and couldn’t put words on my emotions when it happened. I had many emotions and feelings that I couldn’t explain, maybe I didn’t understand them either back then. Until I met friends who have experienced similar situations. I learned that we shared a pain, we shared a wound and we shared something precious. Maybe our pain doesn’t come from the same wounds. Maybe our wounds aren’t the same. But we share an understanding.
That is what motivates me to make this blog. To share my pain, my wounds and my understanding. We might not experience the same childhood. We might not have the same wounds. But we are not alone.
It is important to me to show my fellow human beings that we are not just in pain. We are surviving. We survived the pain that has made us into who we are. We have made the wounds a part of our identity. That is not necessarily a sad thing. That is what marks our surviving. I am a survivor. And I want to tell those who are going through a similar childhood or just a difficult one, that you are a survivor too.
what do i do?
I am currently studying China Studies and struggling to make time for all my hobbies. I spend my free time on pursuing art and searching for my aesthetic style.